After forgiving someone, we feel that everything is alright. However, when we see that person again, the incident crosses our mind and we become angry, sad or hurt again. Sometimes, we punch the face of that person a hundred times in our minds, don’t we? To live a peaceful live, a forgiving heart is all we need. If we are out there struggling with unforgiveness towards someone, here are five action verbs to help us forgive and move on. Before that, let’s always remember that no one is perfect and that forgiving someone is not a one-time act; it is a process.

Do’s

Pray—This is the last thing we might want to do, but it’s the best thing we can do. When we pray, we pray for the people and not against them. In other words, we pronounce blessing into their lives and everything related to them. Am I going overboard telling this? No! When we pray positive things, positive energy over throws the negative thoughts we have against that person. The more we pray for the person, the better we start feeling towards that person. Soon, we untangle ourselves from the chains of unforgiveness.

Praise—In other words, compliment them when necessary. It is fine when we compliment those who have hurt us. This doesn’t mean we fake. When they have done something praiseworthy, look nice on a particular day, or have won a prize, whatever it may be, let’s make every effort to compliment them for that. It shows we are doing our best to be at peace with them. The more we are open to complimenting them, the easier it is to letting go of the anger or pain they have caused.

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Present—This is not always necessary, but it is another great way to overcome the hard feelings and make peace with the other person. Presenting a gift or a card or even taking the person out for a meal will increase the chances of breaking the walls of silence, anger, bitterness, etc. and building a bridge instead.

Don’ts

Provoke—Reminding them about the incident, repeating how we felt, making them feel guilty, etc. are ways that provoke people who hurt us. When we do these, they might end up hurting us again either intentionally or unintentionally. Would we like that to happen? The best thing to do is to stop provoking them by our actions and words.

Punish—Holding grudges, taking revenge, etc. are not the best ways to punish people who hurt us, it is the other way round. It is us who get punished when we take revenge, hold grudges or stay unforgiving. The more we try to punish the other person, the deeper we walk into troubled waters. Punishing people by not forgiving them is like going to the prison and locking yourself in the cell.

According to you, which is the easiest or the best to try? Is there any other way to forgive those who have done us wrong? You can either comment below or mail to jkdarling17@gmail.com.

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2 thoughts

  1. I think forgiveness, true forgiveness, is a huge challenge at times. I’ve been there a time or two! When somebody wounds us deeply it is very hard to find forgiveness, it helps to remember forgiveness is not about the other person – it’s about freeing ourselves so we can live peaceful lives. Having said that, forgiveness is not amnesia and just because I forgive an injustice doesn’t mean I have to put myself in a position to be hurt again. After all, not all people are kind. And some people spend their lives creating havoc for other, or enjoy inflicting pain.. I have found that I can forgive without forgetting serious or grievous wounds – the kind that would put us in a position of being abused again. I think it’s an important distinction to make.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Carol, I totally agree that forgiving someone is not easy, but it is not impossible and it is a process. Yes, we need to make a wise choice while deciding whether to give them another chance or to just stay away from them.

      Liked by 1 person

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